A Letter to PPI Companies

Dear PPI companies,

Please stop being such utter jerks.

You have texted me, saying that I'd be rich if I claimed on PPI I couldn't have got. You have littered the minutes of TV advertisements with your claims that money has been put aside for me even though my 16-18 Current Account does not allow me an overdraft because of my age.

And now you're using internet advertising‽‽‽

(Those are interrobangs, people, that are often found in ?! form)

Arrrrgh!!!!!!!!

This is what I want to say to you in simple plain English that you should be able to understand, and made funky so you don't have a chance of missing it.

Please Stop.

I am fed up with you. If the whole stupid PPI stupidity had ever affected me, I could go to my bank for free. And that's what I would do if I had taken out anything - which, as you should be aware, isn't very possible.

In fact, Google PPI. Everything you get is about PPI claims. It's not about what PPI is, or if PPI is a good option on the loan you're just about to get, or even other insurance you could use instead of PPI.

And it says I'm in Swindon!

So, stop making me want to tear my hair out and weave it into a rug. My mental health is more important than your unregulated businesses.

Yours faithfully,

Minim.